Dear Lynette:  

I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now, I'm 20 and ready to marry.  The only thing that is holding me back is she is half white and black, and I'm white.  I haven't found anything in the bible that  
supports not pursuing such a relationship, but I'm looking for some  
more support from the Bible to show to my family          Rick  

Dear Rick:   
My belief is that there is nothing wrong with this. I don't know of any  
Bible passages that speak directly about this matter.  
The main thing is that you are both solid born-again Christians.  With  
Christ at the center of your lives and marriage, you can work through any problem.  I would encourage you to evaluate thoroughly whether you should wait to marry until you are both a couple of years older and more established in your careers and education.   Those areas will also bring more stability to your marriage.  
Have you had pastoral counseling and some pre-engagement evaluation and training?  Your pastor's sound advice and couple's counseling could really help you in your decision.  
Consider the implications of your family not accepting your girlfriend.  It  
might be wise to wait and let them get to know her better and thus  
hopefully accept her into your family.  In-law problems will affect your  
relationship for the rest  of your lives and you need their support.  
Whether you can support your decision from the Bible or not probably won't influence them.  You need some pastoral support and guidance even for yourself on this.  
You also need to evaluate whether you completely accept your girlfriend. If you have a doubt in your mind then your feelings will surface and create problems somewhere down the line in your marriage.  She can't change who she is racially.  And you need to assess whether you will accept whole-heartedly the children you will have together.  These are real questions to ponder.  
She will need to evaluate your family's attitude and behavior towards her and if this will affect her self-esteem.  Also, she may be having problems herself  with her identity even now.  I would encourage each of you to get Christian counseling individually.  Please contact AACC for a referral to a mental health professional.   
Don't rush into marriage.  Too many people do and 50-60% end up divorced. It's a harsh but very real statistic.  Let me know what transpires.  
I know you feel love will carry you through, but marriages today are under terrific pressures and you need Christ to guide you, support from your church and hopefully the support of your family to weather the storms that will come if you decide to get married.  
I would encourage you to write to Pastor Ray Pritchard about  
this matter, also.  He is a wonderful resource on questions like this.   

God bless you!  Lynette Hoy  
P.S. May I have permission from you to publish your question  anonymously in my Advice column?   A great book for knowing God's will is: The Road Best Traveled: Knowing God's Will for Your Life by Ray Pritchard or look for other resources on our site. thanks.  

Lynette:  

Thanks for advice, and I'll definitely talk to those people and let you know how it goes.  By all means, please feel free to publish my question.  I found it very hard to find any information on this issue and sure others facing the same would really appreciate it.  

Thanks again,  
Rick  

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