Dear Counselor:  I  hope you can help.  My fiance/boyfriend and I are having problems. You see three years ago he was saved and soon afterwards he married a young woman for the wrong reasons.  She kicked him out of the house and after he typed up divorce papers she filed for the divorce.  He felt that he would never marry again.  A year later we met and at Christmas of 1997 we got engaged.  We have suffered through lots of problems.  My lying, and emotional problems and his addiction to pornography.  However now that (I feel) we are on the right tract he has said he just wants to be friends because it would be adultery for him to marry me.  I just can't understand this.  His past marriage was a mistake and I love him so much...can he be right? 

Dear Friend: 
I would recommend that each of you take a good look at  your relationship with Jesus Christ.  Both of you seem to have major personal problems, and sinful tendencies which need to be overcome in order to have a healthy relationship.  It will take time to do this. It will take spiritual change. If your fiance is having reservations about getting married then it is best to delay it and remain friends until God directs both of you differently.  God is more concerned about your relationship with Him and how you are growing in Christ, how mature you are and how much you love others than He is about you getting married.  
There is nothing like living fully for Christ.  When you walk with Christ wholeheartedly you will experience victory over sin, His love, presence, power, peace and purpose.   There is nothing like living for Christ. He is the living water and will satisfy your needs.  Your needs will never be satisfied by anything or anyone else the way that Jesus can satisfy them. These verses talk about the experience you will have as you grow in Christ. 
John 15:5  "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." 
John 16:24 "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." 
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 
John 16:27 "No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God." (NIV) 
Marriage takes 2 mature people who are committed to Christ and showing the fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.... see Gal. 5:22-23. 
Too many people rush into marriage ill-equipped for the work, effort and endurance it will take to make a relationship healthy and satisfying. Think about all the areas partners need to develop in a marriage: building intimacy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically; building mutual  decisionmaking, understanding, communication; managing conflicts, in-laws & finances; loving each other despite the faults and differences experienced. These create great challenges and stresses in couple's lives.  If any of these areas are short-circuited then the relationship will encounter great difficulties.  
Both of you need to grow stronger both spiritually and emotionally.  Take a look at what I have written in some of the faq's on our web site regarding:  marriage and take the marriage inventory    Read some of my answers to the people who write about marriage problems in my advice column. 
Since he has stated that he only wants to be just friends right now, then you have no choice but to accept that and not dispute him.  If you argue with him about it and pursue him then he will probably become more resistant to you.  Besides if it is God's will that the two of you marry someday, don't you think that God will let both of you know that, making it clear to you both?