I was for 3 years married to a military man... who was violent and abusive after I became pregnant with our first child...He was forever dropping our infant on furniture shaking her...etc.. I have since left him (returned home with my family)... Filed for divorce... is this wrong... in God's eyes can I ever remarry?? I feel I did what was in the best interest of my little girl... but I need a little biblical insight... Please return my email.. thank you. In Christ Love, Susan

Protecting Yourself and Your family
Scriptural Guidance
Taking Care of Yourself
Anger Management 
Remarriage
Stop the Victim Syndrome and What's Good About Anger? book

Though the Bible does not speak about some marital problems like abuse I believe we can apply the following principles and verses to abusive situations.

1. God does not want you or your child to be harmed.I believe that you must separate from and divorce this man to protect yourself and your child. Consider some biblical examples of people who protected themselves from danger. St.Paul fled places when his life was threatened. Once he was lowered out of a window in a basket to escape danger. Jesus walked through the crowd and away from the people who were planning to throw him off a cliff.
This is truly evil that your husband has threatened and caused harm to you and your child. Jesus said, "The thief comes to kill and destroy, but I have come to give you life and to give it more abundantly." John 10:10.
You need to defend and protect yourself when someone is threatening your physical well-being.
Please call the National Domestic Violence hotline in the USA at: 1-800-799-7233 or contact AACC for a counseling referral to a professional in your area.. Or look up an agency in your country if you are outside of the US: International listings.
You need counseling and resources to help you learn how to protect yourself, cope, be more assertive and build your self-esteem.
If you are still in danger, you need to call the police and file an order of protection with the court. A domestic violence agency can help you with this.

2. We are responsible to protect our children. The law protects children in this country from physical, emotional/mental, sexual abuse and neglect. Look up resources for children at ChildHelpUSA or call them at: 1-800-4A-Child. Check out the ChildAbuse.org site as well. Read the article on the relationship between domestic violence and child abuse.
The Bible states: "Fathers, do not exasperate (nag or arbitrarily assert authority over) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4. Colossians 3: 8 states: "Rid yourself of all such things as these; anger, rage, malice.....".
Read What is Child Maltreatment?

3. Scriptures command that no one should endanger another person's life. One of God's Ten commandments states: Exod 20:13 13 "You shall not murder." (NIV). and Lev 19:16 "Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the LORD." Your situation sounds life-threatening. 

4. If you stay in an abusive situation and a child gets hurt you could be held responsible for not protecting that child from harm.  

5. When the Bible does not clearly state what to do in every life situation, we need to seek other biblical principles and scriptures which may be applied to our situation.  

6. When someone is causing harm like your husband, he is acting like an unbeliever and an enemy. How can light live with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 states: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?".  

7. If your husband is open to getting help and changing his behavior...Refer him to a domestic violence shelter for the Batterer's Intervention program. But, do not get back together with him. He is dangerous!

God bless you!     Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC

Or Order What's Good About Anger? book : This book will help you learn to be more assertive and to problem-solve biblically. .
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Note: if you prefer to order by check please send a check or money order for the appropriate amount requesting the book ($12.00) or course ($130.00). Add $5.00 for an audio-tape. Make checks payable to: Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC and mail to: CounselCare Connection, 1100 Lake Street, Suite 245, Oak Park, IL 60301.  
Other new online courses:
Proven Strategies to Build Great Relationships! ,
Eat to Live! Healthy Food Management ,
What's Good About Anger?
Stop the Victim Syndrome!,
Assert Yourself!,
Turn Fear into Faith ,
Stress Busters! ,
Even Christians Get Depressed!

Lynette is a National Certified Counselor and a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the State of Illinois. 

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