hi, I'm 17 years old, and I have a serious boyfriend who I have been going out with for 2 1/2 years.  I love him to death, but the other night I was at a party and I ended up sleeping with my best friend (ex-boyfriend).
We both have always had strong feelings for each other, but we've just been really close friends.  I know my ex-boyfriend wants us to be going out now, but I don't want to leave my boyfriend.  I feel really guilty. I haven't told my boyfriend  yet, and I'm just really confused. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my best friend, or my boyfriend....if that's even possible.  I feel like I really messed everything up.
please write back, I don't know who else I feel comfortable talking about this to.

Dear Friend,
I would encourage you to be honest with your boyfriend.  Of course, you will have to deal with the consequences, but, if you try to hide this incident from him, he will find out from another source and probably decide to break up with you.
My question is this:  What has caused you to do this?  First of all, giving yourself sexually to someone is very dangerous in this day and age..... the age of AIDS.  Also, you must be struggling with low self-esteem to need to get involved sexually with someone before marriage.  Sex without
committment is very dangerous since we as humans are made to engage in sex within the bonds of the committment and love of marriage.  When people engage in sex outside of marriage, there is much psychological confusion.... such as what you are experiencing. 
In the book of Genesis from the Old Testament, God states:
Gen 2:24  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (NIV)
When heterosexual couples engage in sex within marriage, they are doing it under God's rules- the way He created us to be and live within marriage- and can experience the depth of love and psychological and soulish committment which God made us for.
The sexual act is then very fulfilling.   Plus, there are no worries about getting pregnant or STD's. Read the article about avoiding sexual temptation .
I would encourage you to also read the article on how a Christian can deal with guilt and sin in his/her life.     Since I believe that we are made in the image of God and made for His purpose, I think that you will only find real fulfillment when you grow in your faith in Christ (read about growing in your faith ) . 
Looking to your boyfriend or anyone to find satisfaction will never meet your deepest needs, only God will.  So I encourage you to discover what it really means to have a
relationship with God and be reconciled to Him.    God bless you! 

Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
P.S. Have you read the Christian books   I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris $ 8.79   or  Givers Takers and Other Kinds of Lovers by Josh McDowell, Paul Lewis
What a Christian Believes; An Easy to Read Guide to Understanding  by Ray Pritchard 

You need to build your self-esteem so you know who you are and what you want in a man.  I suggest reading The Search for Significance by Robert McGee  

You can order any of these books right now. You might want to challenge other friends to read these books so you can support each other to live by the guidelines promoted by these authors. Check out the resources page for other recommended books for teens.